Counterfeit kindness RIP. We don’t have to be pleasant because its the socially acceptable way of being. Our niceness isn’t our greatest attribute. We don’t have to be what others expect and prefer us to be. Being a people pleaser is miserable existence that robs you of the intricacies of your authentic being.
As a woman we are culturally programmed to sit pretty, talk gently and be pleasant. That is not the totality of who we are. It’s the limit of who we have been allowed to be. As I become more deeply aligned with my own being the longer the list becomes of people who dislike me. And I’ve never felt so free from the bullshit.
To the women finding their audacity and breaking the chains of pleasantries there is a significant place for you at my table. The world is not run by passive people pleasers, it held together by difficult conversations and action oriented attitudes that foster growth.
The wild woman is the embodied parts of our feminine being that early on is suppressed. Our loud cries, cathartic dance, messy hair, sexual radiance and unshaved legs all shunned and shamed.
The subservient nature of a women is cultivated by being subjected to social shaming, alienation and sheep mentality. And because safety comes in numbers it feels risky to not being in alignment with social norms.
But the times are changing. Archaic beliefs built upon the suppression of the people are dying quickly. And the wild women are rising and willing to face the same old persecutions to break the damn chains.
A mantra for those breaking the chains and making noise:
“My voice doesn’t have be welcomed to be relevant. My voice is the path to my souls full expression. My power lies in my ability to move through life without the validation of the others. I don’t have to be agreeable to be a good person. I am unburdened by the need to be accepted by everyone.”
You have this one life. It’s yours to curate. Allow your freedom to attract like minded people. Celebrate those with the courage to stand on the outside. Lift up the voices of children. Let them question and debate with you without fear. Don’t make your daughters feel like they have to look fucking pretty. Teach them to say no and walk out the door disheveled and mismatching if that is what they choose. Let them decide how they want to arrive. And for the sake of man kind stop telling them to “be nice” as if that the one thing that’s gonna be celebrated about them.
We live in a culture where follows and likes dictate our value. And we alter our delivery in person and online to get them “likes”. Freedom comes with being unedited. And knowing anyone who doesn’t like that version of you also has the freedom to leave the room or unfollow.